When it comes to relationships, we all have individual deal-breakers. Rejecting specific quirks can vary from person to person, but psychotherapist Megan Bruneau helps us determine, more generally, when to leave a relationship or make it work.
How do I decide?
If you’re feeling resistance toward a relationship, try to decide “Is [this] coming from a place of ego or self-respect?” Bruneau said during an interview for the mindbodygreen podcast.
She’s referring to a spiritual, internal sense of ego. This might include being triggered by abandonment issues, not feeling good enough for your partner, or the fear of being seen. While vulnerability is a necessary element in any relationship, it can often be uncomfortable.
“As much as relationships are really beautiful and we all yearn to be in them, for the most part,” she said. “They’re also deeply uncomfortable and deeply challenging.” That discomfort can keep us from committing or even trying.
You need to possess a certain level of self-awareness to decide: Is your avoidance in response to ego, or is it out of self-respect?