Whether you’re already dating or thinking of getting into the dating scene, it’s important to be in the right place—physically, emotionally, and mentally. We need to venture out on our dating journeys feeling like the sexy, brilliant people we are. With that in mind, here are seven ways to bolster your confidence and get into the habit of self-love, to foster sexiness and positivity. Let’s get empowered together.
1. Let go of expectations.
The moment I expect something, I will unquestionably be setting myself up for failure. Being open-minded in dating means going with the flow. It is healthy, however, to retain certain boundaries regarding the type of person we’re going out with. You deserve to be selective about how you spend your time. I always promise myself I’ll have a good time, whether I am alone or in the company of someone else. I don’t depend on anyone else for my happiness or enjoyment.
2. Be the kind of person you want to meet.
I attract the type of person I am. This plainly means that if I’m being a stick in the mud, I’m going to attract—you guessed it—a stick in the mud. When I am being my sexy, brilliant self, which is awesome and authentic, I will attract a mirror of me. Be authentically you. We are too awesome not to be ourselves. No one in the world can be a better you than you.
3. Haters gonna hate. Let ’em.
There will always be naysayers, and they’ll get more fierce the more awesome you become. Oscar Wilde said, “Life is far too important to be taken seriously.” The joy of laughter is the difference between comedy and tragedy.
4. Accept that not everyone will like you.
You’re not going to vibe with everyone. This doesn’t say anything negative about you. Your own particular brands of magic just don’t mix. They may, in fact, be struggling with their own issues that make them treat you in a way that you’re not comfortable with. Make those boundaries, but don’t take their insecurities on. Someone else’s rejection can’t ruin your life if you truly love and value yourself.
5. Date people who are equally invested in you.
Being unevenly yoked never ends well. Being your sexy, brilliant self not only means attracting someone awesome but choosing someone who has the same priorities as we do. As long as we keep working on ourselves and practicing self-love, we will find someone who is equally invested in us.
6. You get what you give.
Over the time I’ve spent in the dating world, I’ve gotten really clear on my goals and learned to be honest about them with myself and others. If I am looking for sex, then I say so. If I’m not interested in something long term, I’m clear about that. Just remember, honesty begets honesty.
7. Be kind—even when others aren’t.
Everyone is fighting their own battle. The way others act is not a reflection of your value. I refuse to let unkind people take me out of my element. Sure, it stings when I run into an unkind individual. I acknowledge those feelings, find ways to cope, and move on. Then I keep sending out awesome, kind vibes I usually get back tenfold. We’re too sexy and brilliant to let anyone else keep us from living our best lives.