After you get engaged, get ready to start fielding questions – and lots of ‘em – from family and friends. Some of the questions (“How did he/she propose?”) can be easy and fun to answer, but some can be just plain annoying – or even borderline inappropriate. Check out the top questions you’ll likely hear, and our advice on how to respond:
1. How long did you date?
Why it’s annoying – Whether you dated for six months or eight years, love has no time frame.
How to respond – “This was the right moment for us, and we’re so happy.”
2. What does the engagement ring look like?
Why it’s annoying – Sure, you know the basic details about your ring, but it’s not like you asked what the carat size was before you put it on your finger.
How to respond – “It was more than I could have ever asked for!”
3. Are you sure he/she is the one?
Why it’s annoying – No one finds this funny, ever.
How to respond – “Otherwise I wouldn’t have said yes!”
4. When’s the wedding?
Why it’s annoying – Do people really think you started planning a wedding five minutes after getting engaged?
How to respond – Be honest, and if you don’t know yet, just say that you’re enjoying this special time before looking at the calendar.
5. Who’s paying for it? Or what’s the budget?
Why it’s annoying – People seem to think it’s their business, when it’s really not. That’s why it’s traditionally supposed to be between you, your significant other, and, perhaps, your parents.
How to respond – Straight up, “Why do you ask?”
6. Who are your bridesmaids and groomsmen?
Why it’s annoying – Obviously, your wedding party is those who are closest to you. This may be a touchy subject if the person asking isn’t included in the wedding party and wants to be.
How to respond – Again, you should tell the truth about who you’ve included, or if you haven’t decided yet. If the person is not included, let them know that you were trying to keep your wedding party small, and let them know that you’d like them to be involved in another way like handing out ceremony programs or serving as an usher.
7. Are you inviting X, Y, and Z?
Why it’s annoying – Depending if your venue can accommodate 75, 150, or 300 people – or if you just want a small, intimate wedding – you may have a guest count constraint.
How to respond – “We haven’t finalized our guest list yet.” (Even if you have, it’s better to play it safe than sorry if it’s early in your planning process.)
8. What does your wedding dress look like?
Why it’s annoying – You want your wedding gown to have that “wow factor” when you walk down the aisle, so you don’t want to give too many details.
How to respond – With a smile, just say: “I want it to be a surprise!”
9. Are you wearing your hair up or down?
Why it’s annoying – You have a hard enough time deciding how to do your hair in the mornings – how are you supposed to know how you’ll style it for your wedding day?
How to respond – “I’m waiting to decide until my hair and makeup trial appointment. I’ll let the professional stylists work their magic.”
10. Are you going to see each other before the ceremony?
Why it’s annoying – Generations past think it’s bad luck to see your soon-to-be spouse before the ceremony, but nowadays many couples like to have a “first look.”
How to respond – If you are doing a “first look,” explain that you think that seeing each other pre-ceremony will help relax your jitters and allow you to squeeze in some pictures.
11. When will you give us grandkids?
Why it’s annoying – Hello, can we focus on the wedding first? You probably can only handle one life-changing event at a time.
How to respond – “When we have news to share, you’ll be the first to know.”
12. Where are you going on your honeymoon?
Why it’s annoying – You and your fiancé already have differing opinions on where you want to honeymoon.
How to respond – “We don’t know yet. Do you have any suggestions?” (You never know, you might just find a great idea.